Show not tell
One night I was woken up by a terrible sound. A thunder flashed up in the sky. I feel frightened when I
heard a creepy wind blow coming up on my window. When I looked away outside, it was a creepy
shadows of the trees that I saw. Suddenly I heard some water drops falling on the ground, it was raining.
heard a creepy wind blow coming up on my window. When I looked away outside, it was a creepy
shadows of the trees that I saw. Suddenly I heard some water drops falling on the ground, it was raining.
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Show not tell 2
I took a deep breath and I felt like shaking. My heart beats so fast, I felt crept in. I suddenly feel that my
breathing has changed and I feel like I vomit. I had this feeling every time. I can’t stop thinking about it
when it just happened. I can’t erase it on my mind. Just one thing I can remind myself, just don’t be
afraid, fight for it.
breathing has changed and I feel like I vomit. I had this feeling every time. I can’t stop thinking about it
when it just happened. I can’t erase it on my mind. Just one thing I can remind myself, just don’t be
afraid, fight for it.
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Show not tell 3
What is happiness? Happiness is everywhere, we can feel it always but sometimes not. Happiness is not
all about being happy, but it is the sign to yourself to smile. In more than 7 billion people in the world,
half of it had happiness and half of it don’t. What can we do to people who is not happy and How can we
make them feel better? In making people happy, is like making yourself happy. You can make people
happy by showing a big heart to them. Showing a big heart is when you help a disabled people, showing
a big heart is loving a people.
all about being happy, but it is the sign to yourself to smile. In more than 7 billion people in the world,
half of it had happiness and half of it don’t. What can we do to people who is not happy and How can we
make them feel better? In making people happy, is like making yourself happy. You can make people
happy by showing a big heart to them. Showing a big heart is when you help a disabled people, showing
a big heart is loving a people.
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W.A.L.T Use "show not tell". In show not tell we need to write to imply and read to infer. By doing this
activity I found hard is when I build my sentences up. Question- what do I need to improve next time.
activity I found hard is when I build my sentences up. Question- what do I need to improve next time.
Hi Dannah!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your pieces of writing. On your second piece of writing (Show not Tell 2), I think that's the feeling of being extremely scared of something. Maybe next time you could check your tenses (past, present, future) so that the reader won't get too confused. Also try not to add "I had this feeling every time I’m scared or afraid of
something." Try to use different vocabularies (adjectives, adverbs etc) instead of stating that you are afraid. Overall, Great Work!
Hi Trinity,
DeleteFirst of all I wanna say thank you for your wonderful feedback on my blog, Thank you that you tell me what do I need to try next time. You gave me a great advice which I really appreciate...
Anyways thanks for your feedback:)